It definitely feels terrible and now, I guess it would probably affect me to a large extent. I also want to hit myself on the head for being so gullible (dunno if it’s the correct way to describe) but I think I was a fool to begin with. I admit that there were those emotions and feelings and I did not deny myself from feeling ‘high’ from these emotions. But for every high, there’s bound to be a low and it’s now. I don’t know what is happening between us and I hate the way it is now. Maybe, it’s just me. I am clueless how to open my heart to anything because I keep it so hidden, so deep down and locked away. The more I try to run away, the more I feel it’s affecting us. But I’m not ready. not now, not yet..
Maybe you were expecting something that night.. but i’m sorry it did not happen. Once bitten, twice shy.. And so I take forever to do anything. Someone once said – Expectations sucks when it doesn’t materialize. I understand that but I don’t want to meet people’s expectations. I’m sorry.
PS – if this whole post doesn’t make sense, it’s probably 1) my thoughts are in a mess now, cos I don’t know what is happening. 2) I’m still hung over 3) you don’t know what has been happening.